Dan’s Writing Blog

There is no need to feel low and sorry for yourself. If you want to put a smile back on your face take a look at these acute quotes about life.

“There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it. ” Patrick Moore

“One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything. ” Oscar Wilde

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap. ” Bob Hope

“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry

Try these acute quotes about life.

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” Henry Youngman “If we take matrimony at it’s lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police.” Robert Lee Stevenson

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” Rodney Dangerfield

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” Rodney Dangerfield

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.” Max Kaufman

Or why not try these funny quotes about life.

“A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.” Zsa Zsa Gabor

“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.” David Daye

“Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.” N.F. Simpson

“The Internet is a gateway to get on the net.” Bob Dole

“A fool and his money are soon elected.” Will Rogers

“Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don’t understand, such as working for a living.” P. J. O’Rourke

“Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” Will Rogers